My Spiritual Journey
I was shown what can only be described as Heaven on a number of occasions and those experiences changed how I see the world in which we live. A memory of where we came from. An answer to the questions of everything. These are some of my personal experiences. I’m compelled to share them, even though what I experiences is beyond words.
As you read this, remember that I love you unconditionally. And while I may write things that upset you, or that you might take issue with, I absolutely mean no harm to you or anyone else. I honor you wherever you are in your spiritual journey, and my only hope is that perhaps we can walk together for a while and experience God-Love with each other.
I no longer believe in god …
There was a time when I did believe in god, but after my strongest of experiences, I can honestly say that where there was once belief, there is now knowledge. The difference between belief and knowledge is important to understand when reading this story. To me, belief is when we think we understand something in our heads, where knowledge is when we truly understand something in our hearts. What I have come to realize through these God-Love experiences is that where I once believed I understood god, I now realize that I only thought I understood God, but I didn’t really know God. And now that I have been blessed with a few moments of Truth, I have a knowledge that is undeniable, and I have a desire to share that knowledge with you.
If you have had an experience that you cannot put into words, I would love to hear from you. As I have come to Know God, I have also come to know that I am not special in any way. Everything I have experienced has been experiences by others, and will be experienced by everyone at some point. Just click the link and send me a message.
I had always imaged God speaking to me in words, or maybe I had hoped for that. Some direct evidence of a connection with Him (at the time I thought of God as a male entity, although I don’t any longer). Maybe He would say something, or I would see some visual expression or a sign that would point directly to Him.
Nameless, thoughtless and absent of identity, the gift is offered, freely given, unconditional, and universally understood like the loving whisper of friendship among two who have not seen each other in such a long time that their faces need to come slowly into focus.
Like screaming children demanding the Creative be the way they deem It be, a tantrum of spiritual immaturity with the misguided impression that if there are enough like minds, and if every disparate mind is winnowed out, like weeds that can be pulled until the lawn of creativity can look like one vast sea of uniformity, then the Creative will stand up and notice and give recognition where it is long overdue.
In one life time on a distant planet, I lived with my people at the top of a mountain. Everything was stone. Our homes, markets, temples, all made of sun-drenched stone. The space was an oasis in an otherwise dusty desert.
When the planet failed, it happened quickly and violently, or at least it seemed that way to me. Just a few years and then a chain of events occurred and it was over. I remember souls streaming off the planet, like slivers of light pouring out in all directions.
Darkness All Around Us I came to Earth in what human history would call the Dark Ages. My memory of the lifetimes before my current incarnation are sketchy at best, which isn’t surprising. It’s hard enough to remember the recent past much less...
God was a woman, life-giving, and unpredictable, whimsical, loving and magical. Filled to overflowing with emotion and maternal guidance. We respected Her, and to do otherwise was to invite a host of misfortune.
When we see the world through the eyes of Christ, we see a different world and a different set of circumstances. The outcome is different. People are different. Their attitudes are different.
A short while after I settled with my congregation, I met a man who would become my spiritual counselor and God’s own agent of mercy and understanding. An old soul who had lived on earth many lifetimes named Whispering Winds.
Life During Death, or is it Death During Life? For a time, I had wondered how people could look at life in a body and see anything but pain and misery. The pact we make to be here is to buy into the ego and accept that death is real, and that...
You will be in the world, but never of it. And when you allow your mind to rest, you can always hear us; you can hear the voice of God; when you’re calm, the voice will come to you.
Had I been able to talk when I was born, my first words would have been “I need a smoke and a shot of gin,” but I wasn’t able to talk, and the feeling was a crawling, itchy, skin-piercing sharpness …
She was maybe 12 or 13, so she didn’t understand what she was doing to me, and she couldn’t control the forces driving her, etched there by someone when she was not much older than I was then.
I was growing older and starting to talk. My spirit needed to occupy this body or it would wither and die.
I panicked thinking I didn’t know I had to bring something, and while I didn’t know what a sin was, I knew for certain I didn’t have one and didn’t know where to get one on such short notice. I searched my little, disturbed brain for anything that I might use for a sin, but drew a blank.
As my mother ramped up the séances and conjuring and generally caused panic to seep into me like jaundice into an old drunk’s sclera, I started to be given advice from my guides on meditations and protective invocations to bring discipline and structure to my mind, and to keep me from being completely swallowed by fear to the point of committing suicide for the thousandth time.
Like he was a dark mist that could vaporize and slip unnoticed by everyone around him from one person to the next. And with countless psychologists, self-help gurus and spiritual advisors that I would meet over the years, each would tell me that the world is only what I make of it.
I remember the moment I decided I was no longer going to be a punching bag. I gathered myself together and became determined to find a way to protect myself.
But like all thieves, Satan came back to the scene of the crime looking for his next take, and Aphrodite opened the door for him when she became cold and distant and crushed my emotional teenage heart with a few sentences and an abrupt dismissal that left me with the remainder of high school alone.
I had a ledger in my mind and kept score of all the people I thought had harmed me. I was innocent, and those other people were all treacherous.
The more I thought about it, the more it became clear to me that what we call life is an illusion created by us by bending God’s beautiful mind into something strange and insane.
For a while I thought maybe I could learn to be perfect. I’m sure it’s crossed your mind as well, that perhaps, if I worked really extra special hard, and cleansed myself, like a flagellant monk, I could avoid god’s wrath and slip out of the devil’s grasp.
When the good people won’t have you, and you’re told you’re going to hell and taking your entire family along with you, hell is where you find yourself.
So, when God spoke to me directly, not in words, because God doesn’t speak in words, but with God-Love as a feeling like no other, those feelings stayed with me until my ego wanted an explanation.
He said something like, “If there are little green men on another planet, is their god green, or is it the same god we have?” I think what he meant was, regardless of whether we worship the same way or not, is god the same for everyone?
Here’s the deal: we can’t change perfection no matter how hard we try. Instead we need to forgive our own attempts to tarnish God’s will and get back to our original heritage.
The devil, the ego, thinks it loves you. Don’t think for a moment that it doesn’t. The problem is, it loves you conditionally, which creates sin.
Heaven is the opposite of ego’s conditional love, which is why you can’t take your ego with you. But no worries, I can tell you firsthand you won’t miss it at all once you’re in Heaven.
I told him about some of my episodes of connection with God-Love, and he told me that what he thought I had experienced, Padre Pio had called the ‘ecstasy’ and that Padre would, at times, simply be lost to those around him and would glow.
Am I Talking to Myself? I Feel like I’m Just Talking to Myself How do I share this adventure with you in a way that you will understand? Jeshua has asked me to teach about the nature of God. And through my teaching I will learn God’s nature and...
What does it feel like when there are no more grievances? Fear has no place here. Anger can’t be understood. There is nothing here but Love. God has judged You, and called You Holy.
Near Death, No Death, Only Death A while back I was visiting with a spiritual group I belong to and a woman told the story of her near-death experience. We talked about near death, no death and only death. She told about being a small child and...
God Is Abstract. If you are made in God’s image, and you are, you must also be abstract. Being abstract is frightening at first.
Let’s Rationalize Ourselves to the Right Side of Everything The devil will have you believe that you are a body and that you need to rationalize your behavior. It will tell you that the things you do out of necessity are essential to your...
What I’ve learned is that when I reach for God’s Gift, I can’t get it because only the ego grasps for things. When I search for it, it’s always out of reach
To find Heaven, stop thinking. Don’t just clear your mind, but empty it. Let go of all the history you’ve been taught and look again at all those around you for the first time.
Just listen gently, without any judgment, and let the images and words pass. Like teenage girls texting about their lives, none of these thoughts matter in the long run, and while you might have to out-wait the insanity, eventually, those thoughts will slow down, and stop.
He opened His mind and let me look inside for just an instant, or maybe it was all eternity. A Holy Instant that silenced my ego and taught me humility.
The light is you in Forgiveness. Not forgiveness for something anyone did, or said, or didn’t do, but forgiveness that allows you to move on from the past and forget the future and be in the moment, not in time, but out of time.
We’ve all killed many millions of our brothers and sisters in our lifetimes. There is no difference between thinking it and doing it. To think it is to do it. Thoughts are things. When we think something, it allows that thought to project.
And in that moment, we realize life is a gift, given to us as a thought, held in perfect stability. Our consciousness opens to include everyone and everything.
Do nothing. Your best ego thinking got you here. So, think nothing. Allow the Holy Spirit to lead you. Allow the Holy Spirit to direct you.
So, if you believe in the god of hate and thump the Bible, keep it to yourself unless you’re a super salesperson. It’s the most heavenly thing you can do.
God wants you to turn from the darkness into the light and return home. God isn’t chasing you. And God will not hold anything back from you.
When you get a glimpse of Heaven, with it comes a vast knowledge that changes how you understand God, Love and Jesus. There is no opposite to God. God is, and there is nothing else.
Perhaps you believe that the only thing standing between a complete unraveling of society and some sustainability are words in a book about how the god of hate will judge you after your death, and if he determines that you were a bad person, you will go straight to hell.
To overcome our deepest fears, we must first identify them, then face our fears completely, and we will find that they cannot harm us on their own.
Let’s Try This Again I’m going to try to describe the indescribable (my calling is that of a masochist, so I’m par for the course). I’ve tried this before, many times, but I’ve never been able to get it right. There is a reason that God is beyond words or thoughts....
The longing you feel at the base of all those other emotions, that ancient draw that pulls you, tugs at your heartstrings, that memory at the tip of your mind that you just can’t seem to solidify, and you can’t seem to escape either, is home calling you.
Vast and warm, like a gentle kiss on your forehead, a gift, freely given without expectation, without condition, everlasting and unchangeable. A kiss from God that envelopes your entire being, like hugging you from within rather than from without.
When you get a moment of true presence within the Love of God, you remember what God thinks of Us. You remember that God created you like Itself, in every way.
Another reason it’s so hard to understand forgiveness from the perspective of God is because God has already judged everyone (and I mean everyone)
God is not in conflict and God doesn’t need to judge you. God has already done that. God’s judgment for you was done the moment God thought You into existence.
You’ve forgotten what everything is for. I know you have the memory of God in You, because I’ve felt it and I know that I am not special in any way.
Imagine the god of death sitting on his golden throne looking out at all he created and taking credit for all the good stuff and blaming all the bad stuff on others.
We are a reflection of God, or god is a reflection of us. One or the other, but not both. And if Molly and the bad people can’t let go of the idea that god can be angry, sad, disappointed or have any other emotion than complete Love and Joy, heaven can’t be heavenly.
See me without the history of what you think you know about me. See yourself for the first time, not as the person you think you are, but as the person God knows you to be.
I need you because I cannot stay in Heaven without you there. And neither can you, no matter who you think I am. And I really, really want to be in Heaven right now.
They explained that our physical eyes get in the way of seeing. And that if you can close your eyes and use your pure imagination to help you see, see with your feelings instead, you can see the universe as it truly is.
I need you, my saviors, to let go of my past, and find me for the first time again. I need you, my champion, to put aside our history, set down your weapons and see me with the eyes of God.
You have done everything You could to get God to notice how special You are, and in It’s silence, We have been waiting for You to set all that aside and return to Us.
With this acceptance, here is the answer to all Your questions: God Is.