Many Lives, One Closet

In one life time on a distant planet, I lived with my people at the top of a mountain. Everything was stone. Our homes, markets, temples, all made of sun-drenched stone. The space was an oasis in an otherwise dusty desert.  Our people were all olive-skinned, black-haired with pearly, brown eyes. I remember geometric shapes. Buildings were all carved from stone, and we had lovely plants that we watered and cared for to bring color and shade into an otherwise monochromatic environment. I was king and had a large family. I had a wife, whom I recall, was very lovely. Thin, with a delicate voice and striking eyes, I loved to hear her laugh. She was terrific with our children, and even better with me.

My loving people on the mountain top lived well. We would spend countless hours laughing and imagining. What we didn’t know at the time was that we were living on a mountain of a valuable metal, similar to what you might call gold. Like gold, this metal was buttery and pliable, but unlike gold, once the metal was smelted and formed, its color, which was mostly a deep yellow, would change with the light. So, early mornings it would look purple and become warmer until about midday when it would be its natural rich yellow, and then it would turn red through sunset and become a deep blue-green at night.

What are you willing to kill for?

We never thought about the metal until a group of people that had not lived on our mountain before visited us and told us we were not using the metal correctly. They said all we were doing was sitting around and laughing. They told us we should work and get the gold out of the mountain so we could be rich and live a life of ease. When we told them that it seemed to us that we were already doing that, they came to us with war and hatred and called us stupid. They said we were savages and didn’t understand the laws of money or value and that if we didn’t give them the metal we were living on, they would take it by force.

God doesn’t understand the laws of money.

God gives all to all, and when you give the Love of God, it increases. But with gold, or silver, or greenbacks, if you give them away they are reduced. Someone must lose for someone to gain. We tried to tell our guests this when they came for the magic metal, but they were not interested. They said their god, the one true god had told them that the gold belonged to the one who could hold on to it, and understands its value. They said it was in their holy book, and so it was written, and so it shall be. They pointed out that people who were enslaved were less than human, and that we were living a terrible mistake until they came along to help us understand how savage we were. They raped and killed my wife and family and enslaved me and my brothers and put us in chains to dig out the metal to make them rich and put it on wagons so they could carry it away.

It was these fearful people who called me and my people savages. They said we were cruel and vicious and aggressively hostile. We barely fought back, and yet we were called savage. I watched with tear-filled eyes as one after another fucked my wife and daughters in front of me and then killed them all, and I was the savage heathen who needed to be taught the ways of god. My surprise was that I had such evil thoughts in my mind that I could imagine these terrible images to come to me. You see, I could not accuse these men of things that I could not imagine myself.

We often mistakenly believe we are innocent of all that happens to us.

But we’re not at all innocent or guilty. Jeshua asks us, “Would you accuse your brother or sister of that which you would not do yourself?” And of course, the answer is no, we cannot. Nothing can happen that we don’t agree with. Nothing can happen unless we project it into our lives. And then we hold these things up and say, “God, look at them! Look what they did to me! Condemn them to eternal hell and damnation and let me into heaven for I was persecuted and attacked, and I am meek and deserving of your love. But they, those ones, don’t deserve any of your love and affection.” And God is silent and waits for you to reach out for the Truth, which God answers, taking the last step for you.

Back on my mountain and after a while, my body finally gave up and I died, weathered and worn, and still holding the Love of God, and still offering it to those who wanted magic rather than God’s Love. The cruelty of the god of hate is beyond any imagining and a reflection of what you value. If you value little strips of green paper, or little bars of metal, you will make up stories and justification for why you should have it. But you will also be missing the point of God. God doesn’t have a house, or a mansion. God doesn’t play sports, and God doesn’t enslave anyone.

What these people didn’t understand is that you cannot steal from God. They took some metal, and they thought they took my life by putting me in chains to harvest their magic bars. But what they did instead was throw away the Love God was trying to give them. The ghost of those minds is still here, even on this planet today. Fearful people longing for more wealth, but never stopping to allow the voice for God to lead them home.

If you follow the bible of hate, you perhaps think the story of Jesus is tragic. An innocent man who had never sinned was persecuted, nailed to a cross and spent the next few days slowly dying. Perhaps you’ve thought, “If I had been alive, I would have saved him.”

And maybe you think that when Peter turned his back on Jeshua, if you had been there, you would have been standing strong. Maybe you’ve thought that you would have stayed awake that night and held him before he was sent to his execution, knowing that he was alone. Except you know deep in your heart that you wouldn’t. Today all we hear is how there are too many poor people taking advantage of the rich. And they are all Jesus, here today, and what do we do? We reason that because we work hard every day, we should not have to help anyone. Much less a bunch of lazy people sucking on the government teat.

In that life, I carried the greed and desires of other men for a couple of decades.

I dug into my mountain home where my family had grown and lived for many thousands of years. I pulled wagons filled with what you might call gold on this planet over the blood stains of my wife and children, being beaten for not working fast enough to get the prized metal out of the ground. And then I was killed by the same greed and valuing of insane men with power and fear in their minds. Slowly, my body was drained of its energy until my heart simply stopped beating.

We like to think Jesus had a terrible weekend of suffering for our sins, and we pray to him to save us. But there are people who even now, suffer for years at the hands of the devil in us because we turn our backs on the atrocities that surround and support our culture. We say they must have done something to deserve their fate. The god of hate must hate them more than anyone because they have more sin in their hearts than the fortunate who are rich and powerful. Televangelists scream through cameras to millions to project their guilt out on to others so that they can acquire wealth and not share it with anyone.

Desires of the body never get us what we truly desire.

The answer to our problem isn’t more wealth. The answer to our problem is developing trust in the God of Love. Not trust in the god of hate who will punish all those who have done us wrong. That’s the god of hate. And when god hates all the people we hate, god has been made in our own image. What we really want is a memory so deeply buried in us that we can no longer remember it. It’s a thought that was given us by God when we were thought into existence.

I understand you may think you were born as a body, and that experience was beyond your control. But that’s not true at all. Your own valuing brought you to this life, created a body and made you small and powerless. This is arrogance in its most profound sense, expressing your own importance as the only thing in the world that’s real, or of value. When Jeshua claimed, God had one son, he didn’t mean himself. He wasn’t talking about Jesus. He was talking about you (and me, and everyone else). He meant God had One thought, the thought of extending His Love, which created You. And because God extended His thought of Love, you are that Love-Child, perfect in every way, unchanged by your desire for fear, hatred, wealth and power.

I don’t know how to tell you this any other way: God isn’t angry with you. God isn’t chasing you. No matter what you think you have done, God still sees you the way God intended you to be. And you can cover it up with hatred and fear, but you cannot change the fact because you did not create Yourself, spiritually. We, as bodies, have laws and values of men. Insane laws that govern us and offer what we pretend is justice. But justice is of God, and doesn’t follow the laws of men. We say we want justice with our laws, but that’s not true at all. We want to avenge those who we believe were attacked. When a woman loses her son to a drunk driver our anger boils up and we want our criminal justice system to strike out and punish. But this isn’t justice, this is vengeance.

Every culture I’ve ever lived in is the same.

The justice system of men is always saturated with hate, and cruelty is justified because there has been a helpless, innocent victim. And when the woman says she can never forgive the drunk who killed her child, she is saying she would rather be in hell than in heaven. And when we lock a person up in a cage, we are locking ourselves up, as well. And when you say to me that shit happens, and we must protect ourselves, I say no, change your mind. Imagine and extend the Love of God. Remember, you are not simply a body, and your spirit cannot be altered by any attack.

On the mountain, many lifetimes ago, the crest I reached was the moment of my death, and not a moment before. What I realized with my last breath was that if I had been able to understand God-Love perfectly, the pain and suffering I had experienced could not have happened, even though the circumstances may have been the same as they were in that lifetime. My family and friends may have all been enslaved, but my experience would have been completely different.

The temptation is that we choose a body and so we look at the past and future with the eyes of a body and believe that we see the world clearly. If we lose a loved one, we cry and feel deep sadness. If we stub our toe we feel pain. If someone nails us to a cross and leaves us in the open air for several days, we will die. We are tempted to believe all that. But did Jeshua feel pain? We think that he did because we believe that we would. Pound me to a wooden cross and I will cry out, scream and struggle. But did Jesus? Jeshua ben Josef would tell you that he didn’t. And I know he didn’t. How I know this is because Jesus was beyond the body, and his message is that our bodies do not exist. I am not a body, I am free. I am as God created me.

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